Essential Snippits: Amuse Your Friends

The idea behind these little snippets is that you memorize them and roll them out at an appropriate moment to make yourself look like you have a quick wit and a huge repertoire (or make yourself look like a smart-alec knob).

Cheesy Joke


MP3

If you had a drum you’d go ba-dun tsss. But you’ve got a uke so play this.

Phone Call


MP3

I wonder how Tarrega would feel about his Gran Vals being one of the most recognisable tunes on the planet but only known as the Nokia tune.

Here’s an easier version:

Someone’s on the Pull Tonight


MP3

You don’t have to be accurate with the frets here, just make sure you play it with irony.

Spooky


MP3

Are You Trying to Seduce Me?


MP3

Yes, I do have to work this one up into a full arrangement.

Grand Entrance/Big Unveiling


MP3

Playing a grand fanfare on the ukulele is inherently hilarious and particularly appropriate when the thing being revealed isn’t particularly impressive. Anyone know where this tune comes from? The folks on Twitter were no use at all.

Sad Trombone


MP3

Thanks to SamD for suggesting this.

Tied to the Tracks


MP3

Suggested by Jodi and Scott.

Big Clock


MP3

This one uses harmonics but it works fine playing the same thing without them. It just won’t sound so chime-y.

Suggested by turgis.

Anyone have any suggestions for other tunes that could come in handy?

View Comments

63 Comments

  1. johnjacobjinglheimerschmidt January 4th, 2011 7:10 pm

    Could you make a sort of “fail” tab? like when, i don’t know but maybe someone is walking along talking to you and runs into a pole or something. I know i probably wouldn’t have my uke with me, but it would still be kind of cool

  2. Howlin' Hobbit January 5th, 2011 8:06 pm

    @johnjacobjinglheimerschmidt: I’m thinking sad trombone should work for that.

  3. kai January 6th, 2011 4:03 pm

    like this:

    a|–4—–3—–2—-0
    e|——————-0
    c|4—4-3—3-2—2–1
    g|——————-0

  4. JAFfa April 12th, 2011 8:49 pm

    How about some kind of sob story “boo hoo” music? Possibly Moonlight Sonata?

  5. Woodshed April 13th, 2011 7:39 am

    Jaffa: Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll have a think.

  6. Gabriel May 8th, 2011 6:32 am

    I have one for a mess-up FAIL.

    Start at the A-string 5th fret(pick) then 4th fret(pick) then 3rd fret(pick) and slide back and forth from the 3rd to 4th

    I guess it looks like this:

    A)—5–4—3/4\3/4—–
    E)———————-
    C)———————-
    G)———————–

    Hope it makes sense.

  7. Gabriel May 8th, 2011 6:34 am

    Ok this should help out my last comment a little.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMpXAknykeg

  8. Gabriel May 8th, 2011 6:40 am

    Ok scratch those last comments hahaa you already found a better one. Sad Trombone. Hahaa now im going to play it for myself.

  9. Athena May 20th, 2011 11:55 am

    I think for the simplified nokia tune, instead of going
    A)—10–8——–
    E)————————8-
    C)——————10—-
    G)———————–

    I think you should change it to
    A)—9–7——–
    E)————————8-
    C)——————10—-
    G)———————–

  10. Tom October 17th, 2012 2:52 pm

    My go to for recognizable is:

    A 3 8 7
    E 1
    C 0
    G 0 0 0

    Love your site

  11. Tom October 17th, 2012 2:55 pm

    A—-3———–8—–7
    E————1
    C–0
    G——–0———-0——0

  12. Woodshed October 18th, 2012 10:21 am

    Tom: Sweet Child of Mine?

  13. Tom October 18th, 2012 11:54 am

    yep

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