Does anyone use the word ‘spawny’ any more? For those of you not exactly my age and level of geekiness, ‘spawny’ was a word commonly used in early 90s computer magazines by people like Radion Automatic to describe inept gamers who managed to succeed in a game despite obvious lack of skill by, for example, unleashing Chun Li’s spinning death kick at a critical moment via random button mashing.
Despite being lazy, gluttonous and irascible; I’m somehow solvent, healthy and loved. For which I regard myself to be exceptionally spawny indeed. But I live in constant fear that someone will discover this administrative cock-up and enact a cosmic realignment by giving me the face of Ben Elton, or the wisdom of Sarah Palin, or the sense of humour of Ben Elton. So I’ve been desperately pedaling to do the minimum amount of good deeds possible to give myself plausible deniability should the karma police turn up.
If you’re similarly karmicly advantaged, here’s a few causes I’d recommend.
Kiva
We all know how careful banks are with the loans they make. They would never lend money to anyone who couldn’t definitely pay it back. So it falls to us to lend money to people who would make good use of it but don’t have access to loans. Kiva let’s you loan money directly to people in developing countries who want to start or grow their own business. You lend money, they pay it back, you lend it to someone else (or take it back). Sometimes loans don’t get paid back (though it’s never happened to me) but you can always hedge against that by bundling the loans into a Kiva backed security and selling it to Lehman Brothers. What could go wrong?
What’s good about it? Because it’s a loan, the people receiving the money are spending their own money on themselves so you can guarantee it’s not being wasted. And you can very easily decide who exactly your money goes to without any of it going on admin (unless you choose to give towards that).
My favourite solution to the Israel/Palestine situation is the one proposed by Richard Herring: get one side to divide the country into two then the other side decides which half they want. Until that’s enacted, the best solution is the Ukuleles for Peace route: get kids and their families on both sides hanging out together. You can learn more by watching Part 1 of Ukulolo’s film.
What’s good about it? It’s pretty clear that the leaders on both sides have little interest in peace, compromise and human dignity. Grassroots organisations like Ukuleles for Peace are the only ones likely to enact real change.
When one of their number died from Duchenne muscular dystrophy, members of the Ukulele Underground forum got together to make an album for the Duchenne Foundation. Duchenne is an incurable muscle wasting disease and the most life-threatening form of muscular dystrophy. The Duchenne Foundation gives help to those suffering from Duchenne and there families, funds research and increases awareness.
What’s good about it? Members of the opposite sex will see you have Bosco and Honey’s Road Trip, Baron’s Captain, My Captain and krabbers’ The Message in your collection, correctly identify that this means you are a sexual dynamo and have an overwhelming desire to do depraved acts with your genitals.
I’m not sure why it should be, but my two favourite indie Christmas songs are both from Swedish bands. One, by the Hives, is coming up on Tuesday but today’s comes from Hello Saferide. I don’t think it’s available anymore (depending on what this page says) but you can pick it up from a few blogs like this one.
The chords don’t work perfectly on the uke. You could switch it up a semitone so that:
A = Bb
C#m = Dm
Bm = Cm
E = F
But I think it sounds better in the original key.
Suggested Strumming
Just down strums will do for the first part and this will get you through the rest of the verses:
d – d u – u d –
In the chorus go with two down-strums each for the Bm – E move.
Starting off today with two Beefheart uke covers. I would have included more but those seem to be the only two.
This week’s most striking video comes from Taimane Gardner who busts out some fire dancers, Venetian masks and her phaser for what she modestly describes as a “masterpiece in the making”. I haven’t decided if I like it or not but I admire the ambition.
Also this week Mr B tackles a new genre, Even Artichokes Have Hearts (who despite their tender years are the sort of old pros who aren’t going to let a bit of face-licking stop the show), Guy Forseyth, Rachel Pearl and plenty more.
If you The Mad Tea Party’s track on the podcast, they’re entering into the Christmas spirit and giving away another new one this year Effin Christmastime
With Christmas being just around the corner, I thought I’d drop the fancy picking and go with a simple thumb ‘n strum arrangement here. Everything is either picked with the thumb or a downstrum with the thumb. To make up for it, there are a few jazzy things going on with the chords. But it isn’t Christmas without jazz chords.
Bossa has made her much anticipated return just in time for a Christmas podcast. And she’s put together an excellent selection of Christmas and non-Christmas tracks. As always, there’s plenty of swearing so those with sensitive ears should tread carefully. If you want to listen until the first swearword, you can safely enjoy the first six seconds.
Sophie Madeleine’s much anticipated second album The Rhythm You Started is out now and packed with fantastic songs. You can listen and buy on Bandcamp (if you’re cherry-picking the essential tracks are 1, 2, 3 and 5). Which leads nicely into this years most requested song.
Suggested Strumming
You could use old faithful:
d – d u – u d –
And throw in a bit of:
d – d – – u d u
Do either of those once for each chord except:
– Am – D at the end of the choruses (twice for each).
– Just one down strum in the ‘Five gold’ and ‘Fa la la’ bits.
– The intro and outro. She moves down the whole G chord shape one fret (0121) and slides it up into G.
Lest you think using ukuleles in ads is a recent development: Ansco and Miller.
Ukulele kitsch: The battle for tackiest ukulele Christmas ornament is as heated as ever with wooing Santa taking the prize. The seller of this uke-heavy shirt was obviously unsure of it attracting attention on its own merits.
